Comment Wall
Blog: To Love and Lose
Introduction to a "Foodie"
Hi, my name is Haley. Here's the serious stuff: This is me at the Sequoia National Park in CA this summer I am a senior studying Biology with a minor in Religious Studies. I really love learning and Biology allows me to use more analytical parts of my brain while Religious Studies allows for some creativity. Together, I believe these two areas of study provide a well-rounded balance of coursework that keeps me busy and engaged. That being said, my favorite learning experiences in college haven't come from classes, they've come from my involvement with the Ronnie K. Irani Center for the Creation of Economic Wealth. This is an internship program that uses problem-solving tactics to consult with companies around the country. This internship has taught me professionalism and how to work with a team. This summer I had the opportunity to work with Nalco Champion as an Engineering & Sales intern! I had a blast and was able to spend my summer in California. Here
Hi Haley,
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you welcomed the reader to sit by the fire and listen to the story. This was a good way to lead into the rest of the stories.The image in the background is fantastic! I really felt like I was about to be treated to a campfire story! How did we get to the campfire? Does the old man have a mission associated with his story? What is the context to this situation? Maybe leaving these things out adds mystery and intrigue to your story, or including this information might draw the reader in more. Not giving your storyteller a name was also a good idea because this added some mystery around your stories to make them more intriguing. Does this sage exist only to tell the stories of Hidimbi? I like the line, "She chose love over blood;" it was very descriptive and made me want to keep reading. Thanks for sharing!
Hi Haley,
ReplyDeleteYour website is amazing. It is so easy to navigate, and you even have a link to your comment wall on your home page. Also, your writing is fantastic. I love that you wrote it as if the old sage were telling the story directly to me the reader. And, you made it so that it seemed like I was responding to him in your writing. I was quite amazed by this. Your writing as a whole is by far the best I have seen on anybody's blog or website so far.
Why is it that is old man is such an advocate for Hidimbi? Also, how did this old man get this information on Hidimbi to be able to tell the "true story." I do think this was a little short. I was yearning for more, but I see that you will be writing more along this story line over the next few weeks. I look forward to reading them, so I can find out more! Well done!
Hi Haley, first off, I really enjoyed seeing the flames crackle in the background as I read the story, and I think it set the mood very well for the introduction to the stories. You did a great job of setting up the tone of the story and keeping it very consistent for the entire story. I really like how you use juxtaposition to compare Hidimbi to Bhima and many different stories that are compared between the two. I am very interested to learn more about Hidimbi and how she compares to the other characters that we have learned about, and why honesty is such an important part of her story. One thing that I am curious about is how the narrator has learned more about Hidimbi, but I am sure you will do a great job of explaining it! Overall, I am excited to learn more about your character, and I look forward to reading your stories!
ReplyDeleteWow Haley, I love your site! It looks so complete and polished. Looking at the intro, I was totally blown away by the campfire graphics. I am not very advanced in technology (yet) and so I am really impressed by your ability to have such wonderful additions to your site that really makes it stand out. Your color choice made your site not only easy to look at, but easy to read as well. The colors are soothing and allow your eyes to focus on the words, as opposed to a flashy background. I really like how you titled the pages within your site because it makes navigating your site a breeze. In regards to your topic choice, it is obvious by the tone of your introduction that you have the interest and ability to really dig deep into the story of Hidimbi and that you can show some true passion in your writing. I look forward to checking your site out more as each component becomes more complete.
ReplyDeleteHey Haley,
ReplyDeleteFirst off this is such a creative story background and it is awesome! I really appreciated and thought it was great that your website was so easy to navigate, as well that it had a link straight to your comment wall! You have great talent in writing, and I was very blown away at how well you told the story, the story felt like it was being told directly to me the reader!
I was amazed at the fluidity seen in your story, the paragraph breaks were placed great to make it an easy read. I wonder what it would be like if maybe a little more back story was placed in the text when they are talking about Hidimbi breaking her heart. What if in the sixth paragraph if was put into a little bit more detail, and the story goes into how Hidimbi slayed his own son, and what he made the other son do as his soldier. I look forward to your future stories , and Great Job!
Hi Haley!
ReplyDeleteOnce I saw the fire in the background, I knew you put effort into the story. It really set the mood and the foundation for the story. I could just imagine the old sage telling the story and getting joy out of carrying on the traditions. I found myself wanting to get closer to the screen when I was reading it and imagining the sage telling his listeners to get closer. It took a turn that I didn't expect when the sage started explaining how the story would go. Not a bad turn though. I liked how you brought the sages emotion and conviction into saying that the listeners don't understand what the characters went through. Like they should respect the story because it wasn't just a story for those involved. It made me wonder, did the sage have a part in the story? Was the sage affected by what happened? I'll be watching close to see what happens!
Hi Haley! First of all, your storybook is wonderfully done, the use of pictures and the moving fire in the background made your introduction that more fun to read! Your introduction did an amazing job of setting the scene for the upcoming stories and left me curious as to what the next stories entailed. You used great imagery to set the setting and describe the exact scene you wanted to tell. I really liked how told the story from the perspective of the sage but i do wonder is sage just purely the story teller or was it involved in any of the stories in any way? regardless i really enjoyed the introduction to your storybook, you have a great talent for writing and it really shows here!
ReplyDeleteHey Haley,
ReplyDeleteI really like the way our page looks and the concept of having a fire and telling the story in a old persons point of view. That is so original and different from all the other stories I have read. That has to be my favorite thing for sure because it really caught my eye and made me want to find out what you were talking about. This was a really good way to start the story and tell readers to come listen to it. It felt like I was at a camp and someone was sharing a story. Also with the theme of your website it is also very easy to work with for anyone. The way you write is great. I liked that it was not just told by an unknown person but it was told by a particular person. I do have to ask how the older man knows all the information about Hidimbi? I am just curious to know the background information on that. Over all it is good and I am looking forward to reading your stories.
Hi Haley, It was great to see how your storybook evolved from the last time I read it. Again, the moving pictures give your stories a dynamic setting, which I really enjoy. I loved your story! You did a great job of explaining all of your writing decisions in your author's note. Hidimbi's playfulness and immaturity come across very well in the way you wrote about her. Also, the way you described her sadness at her brother's death illustrated her guilt well. I appreciated how you chose a story that expands on the emotional experience of the stereo typically bad and unimportant characters, like demons. Also, girl power! I like how you are creating a powerful, complex woman as your main character. Why does Hidimbi do everything her brother tells her to do? Maybe there is a story or explanation behind this that you could add; this might add to the theme of men not treating Hidimbi like she should be treated.
ReplyDeleteHi Haley! What an amazing work you have done for your website! I loved your layout and settings of your story. I especially, love how added motion pictures for your background. Your stories were definitely on fire! -Get it? Fire? Cause there was fire in one of your background websites? Okay, let’s move on. Overall, your stories were spot on. I never realized that a superior woman that you had as your character could show so much power and ambition. This is a great example to spread awareness about girls being mistreated by men. There could also be questions about why Hidimbi, an ambitious woman, would have to go through and deal with mistreatment by a man? Was it because she felt alone and doesn’t want to be alone for the rest of her life? Overall, you did such a wonderful job so far, Haley. Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteHey Haley!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, your site is amazing! I love the colors and the motion fire background in your introduction. The way you set up your storybook makes it more interesting and fun to read. I also enjoyed how you are telling the story of Hidimbi in an old sage's point of view. In your first story, I think you did a good job really describing how Hidimbi was so quick to fall in love with Bhima. I can't wait to read more on her journey. I wander why she would stay with Bhima if he treated her so badly especially since she can very well take care of herself. I know she feel in love with him, but it's crazy how quickly. What if you added the narrator into your stories? I think that would help bring more into your stories and connect with the introduction of him talking about Hidimbi. Overall I really enjoyed reading your storybook and can't wait to read more. Keep up the good work!
Hi Haley! I love the motion design of your storybook. It’s something I haven’t seen in other projects, and it’s truly unique and creative. The effect of having motion images made me feel like the stories are alive! I read the “Come, hear the story” part of your storybook. Especially having this beginning sentence “Come. Come close. Sit by my fire. Feel its warmth. Do not sit so far away” and fire motion image somewhat made me feel like I could literally “hear” the old man’s voice in my head. I like the way the old man, Rishi, tells the story. He draws more curiosity and suspense from the readers by alluding that there are several truths and untold stories about Hidimbi that we don’t know. As I read the narrative of the old man, I could see how the stories were altered in ways that favored the winners. The stories were mistold to save the face of the winners. I wonder how the story would have been like if Hidimbi was the winner of the original story. She would have suffered less from sacrificing and later being betrayed. What if Bhima was honorable and gracious enough to recognize the sacrifice and love of Hidimbi. I bet Hidimbi would have suffered a lot less and had a better life. Thank you for a great story! I really liked reading your creative story!
ReplyDeleteHey Haley! I just read your story of Hidimbi falling in love and it was so refreshing to see the relationship between Hidimbi and Bhima actually make sense in the telling of the story. I read the PDE and the Kindcaid version of this story and they did not go past explaining the physical attraction that Hidimbi and Bhima had towards each other. I love how you explained how the fact that she was Hidimba's sister affected Bhima and how he viewed Hidimbi. Also, I wanted to tell you that you did a GREAT job at describing how Hidimbi felt when she saw Bhima so we can get an understanding of why she was willing to risk her life for this man. The way that you described him almost made me fall in love with him too!
ReplyDeleteHey Haley,
ReplyDeleteYour storybook looks amazing! The fonts and formatting look great. I was reading your first story over the old sage and I loved your start for your first story. The background effects were a great addition for your story and was very creative. I also like the Rishi is the one telling the story. You have so many great features and it's only your first story! I can't wait to read more of your work. Excellent story-telling!
Hey Haley! I just read your story Of Hidimbi's Twins and the way that you described how cold and distrustfully Bhima was acting made me hate him! I think that a great addition to the story would be a depiction of if Bhima was completely detached from his sons, feeling no connection to his children as he felt for Hidimbi or if felt sad that he had to depart from them but couldn't bear to see them in his life when he despised their mother. I think that I personally would make it seem like Bhima was absolutely resentful of his two songs and that he wouldn't even look at them once they were born. I think I would also depict his sons as looking exactly like him so it was even harder for him to deny the truth that he had to have children with a rakshasa.
ReplyDeleteHey Haley! Went and looked through your project page – it looks beautiful! Everything is set up so well, and I was entranced by the GIF in the background of your introduction. I kept getting distracted and just watching it. I did not know that you could set up GIFs behind your story. It’s a really nice effect, and I’m gonna try to figure it out for my project. The whole premise of your website is also very intriguing. I had not really remembered anything about Hidimbi from the original story, but you set up such a great plot! I loved reading through the introduction; it does an amazing job of setting up the stage for the next stories. I also loved reading through your stories. They were so wonderfully written and I’m very interested to read your next stories and see how Hidimbi gets her revenge on Bhima. Happy writing, and I look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteHi Haley!
ReplyDeleteI must say that I really enjoyed the opening page that gives a bit of the reader an idea of what your stories will be like to come. The suspense was definitely there and I could not wait to read further. The first two stories about Hidimbi falling in love and having twins were both very entertaining and grabbed hold of my attention. I also really enjoy how you are telling an old story about important characters but doing so from another person's perspective. This style totally puts a spin on the classic stories that have been told over time to something that makes your mind wander. The last thing that I wanted to mention was the background in your stories. I had no idea that you could set up a background to be animated and it definitely gives some character to your stories. Awesome job!
Hi Haley! I love the color palette of your main page. The set-up is also so convenient, and I appreciate that the Comment Wall link is a button. And oh my goodness the fire in the background is incredible. You do an excellent job of setting a sensory background, especially by describing the voice of the man. Of Hidimbi Falling in Love: the description of the rakshasa is excellent, and I love the “as lazy as he was terrifying”. Hidimbi growing tired of her seduction success and turning to chasing travelers as a deadly jaguar is great! Of Hidimbi’s Twins: the sadness of unrequited love I like how it ends with her vow for revenge- it left me wanting to read more! I’ll definitely be revisiting your blog in the future! What if the fun characterization you did in the first chapter continued on into the next somehow with your protagonists? Bhima’s religious obligations definitely shed some light on his motivations! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHi Haley!
ReplyDeleteI just read your first story and I really liked it! I think it was a great idea to start the story out by establishing the brother-sister relationship between Hidimbi and Hidimba. The character you created around Hidimba of being a lazy oaf helped guide the imagery your story evoked. And then when Hidimbi met Bhima, so cute!! They looked at the moon together. But of course, Bhima couldn't look past the fact that Hidimbi was a demon. Understandable. Also, I think the fact that you established a brother-sister relationship at the beginning made it more sad when Hidimba died. This is my first look at your site and I have to say, it's stunning! You have beautiful visuals and I can tell you worked hard to make your site perfect. It's colorful and easy to navigate. And I love the titles of all the stories!
Hi Haley! I like how on your home page there is a moving image behind the text! It looks really cool. The introduction was so intriguing and it really drew me in. I actually couldn't stop reading. The progression of the story is really well put-together and I liked it alot. I don't actually have any strong critique except for maybe more detail in the third story. You have such beautiful strong imagery throughout the stories. The second story could, also, entail more details (or even a scene) of their daily life. I do wonder, however, if Bhima feels any guilt at all? Did he ever, even for a second, glance at her and think "maybe I can love her?" I think it would be interesting to seed those kind of things into the story if you wanted
ReplyDeleteHey Haley! I just want to start off by saying that I totally loved your story! The creativity and imagination that was integrated with your writing was superb! I can see you put a lot of hard work and time into your story! Keep it up! I liked your use of dialogue. It really brought the characters to life. I was able to relate even more with the characters and get into their minds. I also would like to comment on your web site page! I have to say it looks really great! Comparing mine to yours, I want to put more work into mine! I was able to easily navigate through the web page, which was very nice. However, I look forward to reading more of your stories! Good luck with the rest of your semester! It is coming close to an end! Also, have a great Thanksgiving break!
ReplyDeleteHi there, Haley! Your project is fantastic. You're the first person I have seen that did their project as one long story. Well, I guess it is one long narrative. Your introduction absolutely blew me away. You did such a good job of getting the story off the ground with the narrator and dialogue. I love how organized your project is. Each story is a different chapter into Hidimba's life. I love how you set up a sibling like dynamic. This did make Hidimba's death hit quite a bit harder than if you had not. I still cannot believe how well you made the different chapters of Hidimba's life. What if you made a story about Hidimba's childhood? I know you have already done so many stories, but I would love more origin on Hidimba. The only other thing I guess I could say is I wish the stories were longer. However, you have already done more than four stories. Great job and good luck with the rest of the semester.
ReplyDeleteHey Haley! First of all, your storybook is so cute! I love the animation with the background. I liked that your titles are kind of like a continuation and that was pretty creative. Your formatting is so clear to follow and your 'comment wall' button makes it so accessible. The first story is interesting a great at grabbing the reader's attention. Definitely, a great way to pave the way for the rest of your stories. I think it is cool that you created a title for the introduction itself versus just labeling it as the introduction. You established the relationship of brother and sister and that is always very important in a story. Once there is a relationship established, it seems to add an effect as the plot develops. All of your stories are great at getting the reader to want more! I really enjoyed your storybook and loved reading all of your stories!
ReplyDeleteHi Haley!
ReplyDeleteOnce again I find myself wowed by the backgrounds! You really did a great job and put effort into those! They really set the mood and the foundation for the stories. You did such a great job having the sage tell the stories and the emotion that was told with the stories. I still found myself wanting to get closer to the screen when I was reading it and imagining the sage telling the listeners to get closer. The sage took us through the stories going up and down and there was no lack of emotion that's for sure! I really like how you introduced Hidimbi and Hidimba. I like how Hidimbi loved to hunt and got tired of the easiest ways so she would find harder yet effective ways to bring food to her brother. You explained how she felt for Bhima really well and I could just imagine the fear of her brother taking the life of her new love. Thanks for writing such a great story!
Hey Haley!
ReplyDeleteYour project site is so great! I love the backgrounds you chose. They are super colorful and eye catching. I really love how you did the page links across the top! It is such a great idea to have them read together like that. Your stories are fantastic, as well. I can tell you put a lot of effort into this project and spent a lot of time thinking about how you wanted it all to turn out. Your writing is really great and I love how you made things your own. Overall, fantastic project.