Week 15 Story: Promila's Revenge
Promila felt as if her heart had shattered into a million cold, glass shards. The glass pierced her body and spread through her veins. She cried out in agony, "My love. My whole life has been torn from me!" She looked upon her precious Indrajit, laid upon the funeral pyre.
She wished to join him in his burial fire-- to be his wife in the afterlife. She craved to be eternally beside her beloved with her entire soul. A small whisper in her mind told her no.
"You must avenge his death. Blood has betrayed blood. Now blood must be spilt," the voice whispered.
Promila knew her task. She approached the wrapped body of Indrajit. She softly took her hand from her mouth and placed it on Indrajit's forehead. A symbolic kiss of parting. "Go in peace, my love. I will restore your glory and find you in the heavens."
Indrajit's sword rested at his feet. She lifted the famed weapon and brandished it in front of the mourning crowd.
"Bibhisan will pay for his sins against this family. May Agni put fire in my belly so that I have the strength of 10,000 warriors to complete the task before me."
The god of fire heard Promila's prayer and answered it. She was filled with fearlessness, strength, and fierceness. "You shall not lose," the voice one again raised its voice inside Promila's mind.
That night, Promila donned her armor and the sword of Indrajit. She stole into the night and snuck into Rama's camp. She was a raaksha and able to blend into the night. She went undetected through the camp. Finally, she approached the tent of Bibhisan. She spat onto the tent in disgust. "Wretched snake," she cursed under her breath. In a swift motion, she slid through the curtained opening of the tent into the resting quarters of Indrajit's murderer.
A dying fire lit the room in a burnt orange glow. The auburn haze bounced across the sleeping Bibhisan's face. It looked almost as if he was already bleeding.
Promila used the fire Agni had bestowed upon her to place a silencing curse on Bibhisan. She kicked him awake. Bibhisan bolted upright. He was startled and looked around startled until his eyes settled on Promila. He tried to yell, but couldn't.
"Babhisan." Promila approached his trembling form as she drew Indrajit's sword. "You are a coward. You have betrayed your own blood. Sold your honor to the highest bidder, our enemy. You have torn my love away from me. Now I will tear your life away from you."
Promila completed the act she had set out to do. She left the tent and cleaned the sword in the grass. Quickly, she retreated back into the forest and away from Rama's camp. When her heart had settled, she looked into the stars. She could feel Indrajit's presence. He was at peace.
Bibliography: Promila by Sunity Devee
Author's Note: In the original story, Promila is so devastated by Indrajit's death that she jumps onto his funeral pyre so that she also dies. In this version, I wanted her to exact her revenge on Indrajit's murderer.
She wished to join him in his burial fire-- to be his wife in the afterlife. She craved to be eternally beside her beloved with her entire soul. A small whisper in her mind told her no.
"You must avenge his death. Blood has betrayed blood. Now blood must be spilt," the voice whispered.
Promila knew her task. She approached the wrapped body of Indrajit. She softly took her hand from her mouth and placed it on Indrajit's forehead. A symbolic kiss of parting. "Go in peace, my love. I will restore your glory and find you in the heavens."
Indrajit's sword rested at his feet. She lifted the famed weapon and brandished it in front of the mourning crowd.
"Bibhisan will pay for his sins against this family. May Agni put fire in my belly so that I have the strength of 10,000 warriors to complete the task before me."
The god of fire heard Promila's prayer and answered it. She was filled with fearlessness, strength, and fierceness. "You shall not lose," the voice one again raised its voice inside Promila's mind.
That night, Promila donned her armor and the sword of Indrajit. She stole into the night and snuck into Rama's camp. She was a raaksha and able to blend into the night. She went undetected through the camp. Finally, she approached the tent of Bibhisan. She spat onto the tent in disgust. "Wretched snake," she cursed under her breath. In a swift motion, she slid through the curtained opening of the tent into the resting quarters of Indrajit's murderer.
A dying fire lit the room in a burnt orange glow. The auburn haze bounced across the sleeping Bibhisan's face. It looked almost as if he was already bleeding.
Promila used the fire Agni had bestowed upon her to place a silencing curse on Bibhisan. She kicked him awake. Bibhisan bolted upright. He was startled and looked around startled until his eyes settled on Promila. He tried to yell, but couldn't.
"Babhisan." Promila approached his trembling form as she drew Indrajit's sword. "You are a coward. You have betrayed your own blood. Sold your honor to the highest bidder, our enemy. You have torn my love away from me. Now I will tear your life away from you."
Promila completed the act she had set out to do. She left the tent and cleaned the sword in the grass. Quickly, she retreated back into the forest and away from Rama's camp. When her heart had settled, she looked into the stars. She could feel Indrajit's presence. He was at peace.
Bibliography: Promila by Sunity Devee
Author's Note: In the original story, Promila is so devastated by Indrajit's death that she jumps onto his funeral pyre so that she also dies. In this version, I wanted her to exact her revenge on Indrajit's murderer.
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| Promila with a Sword |
Hi Haley! I really enjoyed reading your story! I haven't read the original story but from your author's note I got that she didn't actually avenge her husband after his death. That is why I found your story amazing! I think it's so cool that you portrayed her as this revengeful, warrior wife that avenges her husband like the way she did. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHi Haley! I loved this story. I am a big fan of strong female characters, and Promila seems to be just that. The way you wrote the descriptions and dialogue made it very easy to visualize what was happening in the story. I also liked the ending, as it made clear that Promila had accomplished what she wanted and wrapped the story up in a fitting way. Overall, great story!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, I love this retelling. I am all for power women in writing, and you've made the story far more interesting in my opinion. You kept with the original feel of the story so well that I couldn't tell when the original story ended and your new plans for it began. Great job tying in aspects that would have been central, such as praying to the god of the culture. Your description really puts the reader right there and the pacing is perfect. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHey, Haley!
ReplyDeleteI loved this story! I love that you made Promila so empowering in this version. I feel like in a lot of stories, the women are very passive so I am glad you were able to give one of them back her voice and make her strong and powerful. I am a sucker for a strong female lead so this story was amazing.
Hi Haley! I love your truly creative and amazing story! I like how you vividly described a scene like this: Promila felt as if her heart had shattered into a million cold, glass shards. The voice sounds extremely vengeful and scary too: “
ReplyDelete"You must avenge his death. Blood has betrayed blood. Now blood must be spilt," the voice whispered.” I really like how you portrayed all the scenes with so much imagery details and amazing plots. I also like the diaglouges between characters. Thank you for an amazing story!
Hi Haley! I really enjoyed the twist you put on the story, making it revenge-centered. I really appreciate the descriptive imagery you use throughout the story, especially at the beginning. That introductory paragraph is just so pleasant to read! I agree with Rachel above that the female empowerment slant you give the story makes it infinitely more enjoyable. Thanks for the great story!
ReplyDelete